tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89114544665335314522024-03-05T03:17:25.599-05:00fat girl < thin girleat less, weigh less. simple, right?nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-8778464967116344412013-04-13T18:38:00.000-04:002013-04-13T18:44:50.933-04:00Update!Blue bra: April 2013, ~160lbs (110lbs muscle)<br />
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Pink bra: January 2011, ~185 lbs (100lbs muscle)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">April '13 (160lbs) - Jan '11 (185lbs)</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0JImh81x3-GF91FjtLEh0OUFOnp_JQWs_0rM-TaSeQQjhxGnwWfwJxPgqd7MOmab7W13lAYoHfQ7VoEixZYhVnEy_xMD-4xVwL8Kqp5p2ET1sfBx8RTRbWo_Z16RtO9pvB_NrRI_wbB0/s1600/CollageImage2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0JImh81x3-GF91FjtLEh0OUFOnp_JQWs_0rM-TaSeQQjhxGnwWfwJxPgqd7MOmab7W13lAYoHfQ7VoEixZYhVnEy_xMD-4xVwL8Kqp5p2ET1sfBx8RTRbWo_Z16RtO9pvB_NrRI_wbB0/s320/CollageImage2.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">April '13 - Jan '11</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwg3_ws8tQS1BuCH7EkeVw7NGY5Fc9shuwSHJxQ0EyDSb_Z3dtcQbRlcI64WZJQBV17d-8iBK7jxO4Ohe1Uv2gdzIxu1QnBBLYimSRRUz8qM9d7GTjyAQn-bTqEGEcmYulwGnWH_NwOZ8/s1600/CollageImage3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwg3_ws8tQS1BuCH7EkeVw7NGY5Fc9shuwSHJxQ0EyDSb_Z3dtcQbRlcI64WZJQBV17d-8iBK7jxO4Ohe1Uv2gdzIxu1QnBBLYimSRRUz8qM9d7GTjyAQn-bTqEGEcmYulwGnWH_NwOZ8/s320/CollageImage3.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">April '13 - Jan '11</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheL96KwajIOGG3C4KMWDLCJqDodvRx7xyL4hbR8L8VaJEphy36ilH_5tEhV62vDuXk35mz64u6GfJvjs7I4VaOo-6YErqK2KtJErZHbJXsIom-ar4bEHzNuNr3tOKdL_8eDywYW8fMb74/s1600/CollageImage.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheL96KwajIOGG3C4KMWDLCJqDodvRx7xyL4hbR8L8VaJEphy36ilH_5tEhV62vDuXk35mz64u6GfJvjs7I4VaOo-6YErqK2KtJErZHbJXsIom-ar4bEHzNuNr3tOKdL_8eDywYW8fMb74/s320/CollageImage.png" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Top: April '13, Bottom: Dec '12 </td></tr>
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Proud to say I've gone from having no backhandspring to having a clean standing bhs, series jumps to bhs, r/o double, standing tuck and r/o tuck. Working on series jumps to tuck and standing bhs to tuck (my quads are my best friends, can you tell? haha) </div>
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To anyone struggling: your body deserves more. feed it heathy food and push it hard (in moderation of course). Don't starve it and let it break down. You deserve better, you deserve to be beautiful. You only get one body and one life, dont spend it hating yourself or your body. Go out and get strong and beautiful. At one point I NEVER thought I could do this (read this blog and believe it for yourself); but I did. and I still am. </div>
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You will never lose weight by hating and punishing yourself. You have to be positive, be able to get back up when you fall off the wagon or have a shitty day. And that takes self-love and determination.</div>
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Say this out loud, right now: I deserve to be as beautiful on the outside as I know I am on the inside. I can do this. </div>
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I deserve to be as beautiful on the outside as I know I am on the inside. I can do this. </div>
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-N</div>
nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-24057082278190363432012-03-28T15:48:00.003-04:002013-04-13T18:39:24.316-04:00hi worldhey everyone who still checks this blog(:<br />
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i just wanted to let yall know that i'm still alive. i'm happy to say that my disordered eating and warped thoughts have substantially decreased, to the point where i feel like a normal member of society.<br />
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right now i'm just trying to be healthy; lots of water, fruits and veggies, carbs protiens and fats in the right amount. i'm not focusing on how much i weigh, but instead i'm measuring and trying to reduce my body fat percentage. i do cardio and weightlifting whenever i can fit into my schedule.<br />
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it wouldnt be fair to say that i love myself now; i do have my low days. i'm trying to be happy with myself before i seek happiness in others. if i hated myself this process wouldnt be possible: living a healthy lifestyle is hard for me. its much easier to fall back into being lazy and eating shit. putting myself down wouldnt make this process any easier. instead i remind myself that i'm worth it, and that i deserve to be happy and look as beautiful and healthy as i feel.<br />
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reading my past blog posts tears open a still healing part of me. but i'm leaving them up, to let people know that you can change your life and way of thinking if you are so unhappy with the way your life is. feed your body beautiful natural food to be beautiful; i hurts me to see others suffering just as i've suffered, miserable, hungry and in so much pain both physically and mentally.<br />
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i love you all, no matter your size. and you deserve better than the misery this mental state causes. you can learn to be happy and beautiful, just as i have.<br />
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xoxo nnispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-64722742428339881892011-04-11T15:17:00.003-04:002011-04-11T15:22:59.896-04:00breakfast: <br />coffe + creamer (120 cals, ?g protein)<br />1c kashi go lean cereal (140 cals, 13g protein)<br /><br />snack: <br />4 sushi (173 cals, 4g protein)<br />grape soda (180 cals, 0g protien)<br /><br />so far: 613 cals, 17g protein<br /><br />ok, so i messed up on the grape soda. but whatever. i'll just eat an egg white before practice and a protein bar for dinner and call it even :]<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrBCIeO6Vd8Q3J0dOUZEzCN3g8nraIwp2nU9ywO8jaKDIFNYQj90hQ9gdUykSuFiQrwtOHCq8BjL2L5Ie74-BoWZcaAZI7fLyGZ-B3_lmhjGUdmOrFxhSniGdxl3QwWz_y20-L7Ks13Qs/s1600/tumblr_lhcw66Js5H1qhnbczo1_500.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 315px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrBCIeO6Vd8Q3J0dOUZEzCN3g8nraIwp2nU9ywO8jaKDIFNYQj90hQ9gdUykSuFiQrwtOHCq8BjL2L5Ie74-BoWZcaAZI7fLyGZ-B3_lmhjGUdmOrFxhSniGdxl3QwWz_y20-L7Ks13Qs/s320/tumblr_lhcw66Js5H1qhnbczo1_500.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5594408408547835042" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-21347712884725656332011-04-09T13:56:00.004-04:002011-04-09T15:14:03.633-04:00hiatussorry for the hiatus.<br /><br />long story short, after my last post my depression kind of caught up with me again. And then I sprained the ligaments in my ankle at cheer practice and was on crutches for 2 weeks, i have to wear a brace 24/7 and i'm still not allowed to jump or tumble at practice. i don't know if you knew but cheer is my life, so that didn't really help with the depression thing. i'm on painkillers a lot and i just have to sit and watch people at practice which kills me. <br /><br />i also gained weight because i stopped my phys. ed routine, so now i'm up to 185. its kind of gross. i'm not even going to think about spring break thats in a week (i'm going to florida in a week), but i need to loose some of this extra weight. i'm just going to try to eat <1000 calories and pray my body doesn't go into starvation mode. i need to start drinking lots of water and eating lots of protein (68g).<br /><br />breakfast: <br />1 cup rice chex (100 cals, 2 g protein)<br />1 mango (130 cals, 1g protein)<br />1 egg white (17 cals, 4g protein)<br /><br />lunch:<br />1/2 chipotle burrito (437 cals, 12g protien)<br /><br />total so far: 684 cals, 19 g protein<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBlGc2FrKEmsBr2OPGDNi3lDI739YZHQbm_jSXyDmll2mPN0tWxhMxTLTSlNI6yWp6tvbsn9C4F3aIGB0OdSFQOMgNRRvEbTEkd42jaSSNbcszX76Ffg_4Vqqyc7zGAPF15mVY4px0FjQ/s1600/tumblr_litgax1Ps51qcuqhho1_500.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBlGc2FrKEmsBr2OPGDNi3lDI739YZHQbm_jSXyDmll2mPN0tWxhMxTLTSlNI6yWp6tvbsn9C4F3aIGB0OdSFQOMgNRRvEbTEkd42jaSSNbcszX76Ffg_4Vqqyc7zGAPF15mVY4px0FjQ/s320/tumblr_litgax1Ps51qcuqhho1_500.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5593664098437908722" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-10652541992493722152011-02-10T22:21:00.004-05:002011-02-10T22:37:17.374-05:00down to 175.1. going on a diet, hope to get some diet pills soon. new goal: 160 by my birthday (march 15)<br /><br />xoxo<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7tp0cIkAGH_hFHAZcGVb8G9T6pRRU9ufevxZ_9j8JTp6lq35-tK4btP-1BZzxlUwPhCu5JMbLuHNvg9X0uaYIb9K4yjW3Dr535jWbHESs5y-K-0YeZ0m2-etbi1c3az9VXZZD2SrddPs/s1600/tumblr_lg3ex66mf21qbwm5co1_500.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7tp0cIkAGH_hFHAZcGVb8G9T6pRRU9ufevxZ_9j8JTp6lq35-tK4btP-1BZzxlUwPhCu5JMbLuHNvg9X0uaYIb9K4yjW3Dr535jWbHESs5y-K-0YeZ0m2-etbi1c3az9VXZZD2SrddPs/s320/tumblr_lg3ex66mf21qbwm5co1_500.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5572269546812879650" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxPsv2K0pu79yzxNLAnY_AwbrOb_RVLE0Sf5k25ieRlN0r4MB3uqdrD5FNZtVNa6M6uRbbNW7Yn-neFxfDtEQqHIUcNgXYORtKN-ABXryJ1jBevhobCjcrzca9iSWafNdWrav4wPXwcLQ/s1600/tumblr_lgfm10hE9Z1qa6irdo1_500_large.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxPsv2K0pu79yzxNLAnY_AwbrOb_RVLE0Sf5k25ieRlN0r4MB3uqdrD5FNZtVNa6M6uRbbNW7Yn-neFxfDtEQqHIUcNgXYORtKN-ABXryJ1jBevhobCjcrzca9iSWafNdWrav4wPXwcLQ/s320/tumblr_lgfm10hE9Z1qa6irdo1_500_large.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5572269546873811714" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcrA5O9Vfm2CHdS5pkeb8cVUrPQteml_Kho2LzKGn6eBS5i8x-0qJiLacgJy1dcbhThCJr5fVV2NMErX28Xbyb4nU-dyb3pX2KJEdxYDL58UdUuQuH74dq-gy3z03MtTIds2cB-GtLXIw/s1600/tumblr_lgefgjeBEh1qh3kd4o1_500_large.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 231px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcrA5O9Vfm2CHdS5pkeb8cVUrPQteml_Kho2LzKGn6eBS5i8x-0qJiLacgJy1dcbhThCJr5fVV2NMErX28Xbyb4nU-dyb3pX2KJEdxYDL58UdUuQuH74dq-gy3z03MtTIds2cB-GtLXIw/s320/tumblr_lgefgjeBEh1qh3kd4o1_500_large.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5572269557648759058" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRKh4qLWCKYk-7hz0ue2Il5f1HCzwrbbVuInDVlGpWr5zQbe9hEOLlZY962Omss6OAP9I4UrDWu7Gh7FgdZwEQ3agaBMdn2ABRo0IhiPmnnSR_Rdjhdu0ysDrnQyJ6K_CLa5K6h0yNcY4/s1600/tumblr_lg9mqr2ZC71qdss66o1_500_large.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRKh4qLWCKYk-7hz0ue2Il5f1HCzwrbbVuInDVlGpWr5zQbe9hEOLlZY962Omss6OAP9I4UrDWu7Gh7FgdZwEQ3agaBMdn2ABRo0IhiPmnnSR_Rdjhdu0ysDrnQyJ6K_CLa5K6h0yNcY4/s320/tumblr_lg9mqr2ZC71qdss66o1_500_large.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5572269559151752850" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQwojS08BIgGg732RRDykkts-0LCBa6-JNOJxydipKIUwYlxsepJ28OtlGVqf31EeGAOTny83S3ytlwasQU2QFwghlWAt-4b1W_V2bWVbOBI_qqSJMmoSPGKc-JN92IWVtQhK7lRdEjp0/s1600/tumblr_lfpah9RkB21qd6xrqo1_400_large.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQwojS08BIgGg732RRDykkts-0LCBa6-JNOJxydipKIUwYlxsepJ28OtlGVqf31EeGAOTny83S3ytlwasQU2QFwghlWAt-4b1W_V2bWVbOBI_qqSJMmoSPGKc-JN92IWVtQhK7lRdEjp0/s320/tumblr_lfpah9RkB21qd6xrqo1_400_large.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5572269555744056354" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-89582276951380891872011-02-09T18:54:00.002-05:002011-02-09T19:05:14.475-05:00i was doing so well.last sunday morning i weighed 172.8. i was so close to breaking into the 160s. so close, i could taste it. i was so excited. i had been restricting all last week and thought that maybe i would try to eat like a normal person when i went to a superbowl party. i had small amounts of cheese dip, guacamole and a little cake to celebrate. i come home and weigh myself.<br /><br />178.9<br /><br />i lost it. i literally almost grabbed for my razor and cut my wrists open. i starve for an entire week, eat normally once, and i become a jiggling fat ass again. do you know how long it took to take off those pounds? it felt like an eternity. i gave up. i've been eating like a normal person-eggs for breakfast, salad for lunch and whatever my parents are eating for dinner-and now i'm almost back up to 180. i hate this. i starve for as long as i can until i ruin it with a binge, normally gaining all the weight back that i had lost when restricting. and then i just give up on ana. i become a fat ass again, asking my friends if they have food and eating nutella when i come home. why won't this work for me? that's why i didnt update. i was too ashamed. nobody follows this blog anyway. the only reason i haven't stopped is because i still need somewhere to write my thoughts. but maybe i will one of these days, a day when i just don't feel like explaining it all to you any more. my every thought and failure. i have been trying for a year now and i havent lost anything. i'm right back where i started. and i am so close to just taking a razor to my stomach, thighs, arms and just cutting it off. i want it off. but it wont come off.<br /><br />im crying now. i just want it off, i just want to feel pretty for once in my life. i just want people to like me.nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-223622360650745872011-02-03T21:57:00.003-05:002011-02-03T22:39:41.755-05:00unhappyso apparently i gained like 3 pounds over the three days surrounding the concert. i normally officially weigh myself in the morning right after going to the bathroom, but lately i've been seeing so much difference between my weight in the morning and my weight at night. i know its food, water weight, whatever, but i still hate seeing that number on the scale. it tears me down.<br /><br />i'm beginning to be unhappy again. my friends are leaving me, i guess i didn't do such a great job choosing them in the first place. i hate highschool, and it really started hitting a nerve this past week and i am so ready just to run away, somewhere else than virginia. i hate virginia. it's ugly and disgusting, and the people here are ugly and disgusting. never come here.<br /><br />at this point in time all i want is to reach the 160's, and to sleep more.<br /><br />I have pictures of myself that i was going to post, but then i had to remind myself that a grand total of about 2 people read this. and i worry that people surfing ana blogs would see them and be repulsed and leave. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">"that fat girl? she cant have an eating disorder. she's like, obese. ha ha ha. maybe she binge eats! ewwww!"</span><br /><br />welcome to the voices in my head.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizbwmodw0qPX4ku5XMXA87DSOnBsvWnT9MR2fhZPYC7kiUEGYqeud3dyRycLDarCzd4CqSrXuEMolyaVdBB4dbOQh9wM71hp8AHAZCaXMySIGKvZO0oHfrlsboZQYjVPkreWT7Z_CeJW8/s1600/tumblr_lfplivN4Sv1qa3aiko1_500.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 222px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizbwmodw0qPX4ku5XMXA87DSOnBsvWnT9MR2fhZPYC7kiUEGYqeud3dyRycLDarCzd4CqSrXuEMolyaVdBB4dbOQh9wM71hp8AHAZCaXMySIGKvZO0oHfrlsboZQYjVPkreWT7Z_CeJW8/s320/tumblr_lfplivN4Sv1qa3aiko1_500.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569673930214843730" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-52733286198953694552011-02-01T18:02:00.003-05:002011-02-01T18:34:21.893-05:00smootheverything went pretty well at the concert. my friend ate, i ate. her friends were cool. 30 seconds to mars was unbelievably amazing. i think i lost 10 pounds of water weight too lol.<br /><br />i was doing pretty well today until i had some nutella and some chinese food for dinner. i've decided that this concert is going to mark the beginning of me <span style="font-style:italic;">loosing</span>. every day i want to be lighter. and it will happen. i bought a t-shirt at the concert and i got in it a Large, but it's still really small. like it won't even fit my boobs. but i swear, i <span style="font-weight:bold;">swear</span>, that this shirt will be <span style="font-style:italic;">hanging</span> off of me by summer. i will use it as a fucking coverup in my beautiful two piece bathing suit i will be strutting around in. i will.<br /><br />i'm going to start keeping track of how much i've lost on my mirror. hopefully my family won't think much of it. <br />hw: 185.6<br />cw: 173.9 (i'm guessing i've lost, but that's my last weigh-in)<br />gw: 110<br /><br />11.7 lbs down.<br /><span style="font-style:italic;">63.9 to go</span>.<br /><br />stay lovely ladies<br />xoxo<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxoUkVN_DRciKSjHQPinsurF4ZUn-21LtwscCm23GjfRApKgJ-2lipNREG6g4ibhNNX91QP__nu-CI_PdDb-MG-7tHghoLioOsgYu4OkA-QhFM6dlzx2IvzBrHIbpRibDwcKXRBHjueiU/s1600/tumblr_l8xhoig47a1qb481eo1_500_large.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 306px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxoUkVN_DRciKSjHQPinsurF4ZUn-21LtwscCm23GjfRApKgJ-2lipNREG6g4ibhNNX91QP__nu-CI_PdDb-MG-7tHghoLioOsgYu4OkA-QhFM6dlzx2IvzBrHIbpRibDwcKXRBHjueiU/s320/tumblr_l8xhoig47a1qb481eo1_500_large.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5568867660624292194" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-52136808598857097782011-01-30T17:01:00.002-05:002011-01-30T17:16:46.070-05:00concert freak outso this whole concert thing is really getting me down.<br /><br />im going with my best friend who used to have an eating discorder and isn't fully recovered. when im with her i always seem to trigger her because im fat, even though i always make sure to eat less than she does when im around her. so i trigger her, and then she stops eating and then i feel like shit. and her mom knows and all, but i just texted her asking her if she wanted me to make some yummy food tomorrow and she said "no sorry i don't eat on concert days" I DONT EAT ON FUCKING CONCERT DAYS?! what the fuck? and now all i can do is think about how much i've had today and im thinking of ways that i can loose as much weight as possible by tomorrow. <br /><br />we're eating dinner before we go to the concert and im afraid she's just not going to eat anything at the restaurant and make me feel <strong>really</strong> awkward. we're meeting some of her friends from tumblr there, and on top of me worrying that she'll abandon me for them almost all of them have eating disorders. AND IM FAT AS FUCK. im so ashamed. this is so hard. i don't even want to go anymore, but i do, but i just dont want to go with someone who will make me think of my weight the entire time.<br /><br />i was thinking of doing a quick salwater flush, but im scared of putting salt in my body because salt reatains water, but then im just scared to drink water at all because of adding weight, and i know i need to go work out but i pass out so easilly when i havent eaten anything. ugghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.<br /><br />but i want this concert to be the start of a fast, however long. i'll drink water today, no water tomorrow and then i'll see how long i can go. hopefully i'll make it to wednesday (i've never been good with fasts).<br /><br />if i'm doing to starve i was thinking of drinking a protien shake right before the concert because i DO NOT want to pass out in the mosh pit. NOT FUN. but then we're going to dinner before, should i eat food there? if my friend doesnt eat anything, it will look awkward if i dont eat anything either. her mom will understand if <em>she</em> doesnt want to eat anything, but will make <em>me</em> eat something. just because im not her child.<br /><br />i just typed all of that in literally like 180 seconds. i need to chill out. but im freaking and literally weighing myself every hour. i need to look skinnyer. this fucking sucks. if my friend hadnt even mentioned eating food, i NEVER would have started thinking about this at all. i feel like shit when i eat around her. uggh.<br /><br />xoxonispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-56970341814407022592011-01-27T14:39:00.002-05:002011-01-27T15:45:18.924-05:00snowed ini don't have internet at the moment, and im having to use my sisters netbook, so this post will be short.<br /><br />i've been eating less and i'm down to 173. i want to be 165 by the concert on monday, but im worried that it's going to be hard because we have snow days until then which means im stuck at home, which means im stuck around food.<br /><br />i'm going to try to stick to egg whites for breakfast, an apple + protien shake for lunch, and whatever my parents are eating for dinner.<br /><br />i'm also going to see if i can get out to CVS or GNC and pick up some oxyelite pro (thanks kat :]).<br /><br />i've been watching shows like "i used to be fat" and "true life: im on a diet" to keep me motivated and to show me that i can look like them if i just lloose the weight. which i will. i need to start working out to loose major pounds, and my friend and i may start going to the gym together. i hope.<br /><br />xoxonispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-88391965465710745392011-01-23T17:57:00.006-05:002011-01-23T18:44:55.237-05:00160's & etc.haven't posted in a while. i think i'll go back to starving. its not easy, but it yields results. and i need to loose more.<br /><br />i've been exactly 179.9 for a couple days now. deff going to change that. i'm going to a 30 seconds to mars concert with my bff next monday, and i'm going to try and loose 10 lbs. just 10. that will put me at 170, witch is still fat as fuck. but its a start. i want to start seeing the 160's on the scale, and i want to see them soon.<br /><br />i want to try to go vegan-ish. like if i eat anything i want it to be fruits & veggies or my protein powder.<br /><br />i also want to get diet pills, but i don't know if you're allowed to buy them if you're under 18. i remember seeing somewhere where they didn't lock up the intense diet pills (walmart?) but i know in CVS you have to be over 18 & they keep the diet pills behind a locked piece of glass. like wtf. and i don't even live in a ghetto neighborhood. i want to try hydroxycut max or OxyElite pro, both of which have been used (with good results) by other bloggers.<br /><br />i'm just so ready to loose this weight. it would make my tumbling so much better if i didnt have to throw around 70 extra pounds on my body. but then i just hope that i wont loose muscle first, because im like the strongest one on our cheer team and they always look to me to do the heavy lifts. and if i fail at cheer, i don't know what i'll do.<br /><br />i've decided that the two things i want the most are: stick thin arms, with tiny rounded shoulders (idc about collarbones); and a gap between my thighs, at least an inch, when i'm standing with my feet together.<br /><br />xoxo<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhq8HrSyloyOjfmlzKafopbP-kUx5qGzMBCXTayCBgAFeGEBBPuVuPPJhQEcFJQQt_n7B7lS9ahAUzErwusQEux9Ll87GkXQu0kliLC_dMH4e-QOzwsKflLYwZUdr-7IzvcOg2NrLP2fY/s1600/z194289107.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhq8HrSyloyOjfmlzKafopbP-kUx5qGzMBCXTayCBgAFeGEBBPuVuPPJhQEcFJQQt_n7B7lS9ahAUzErwusQEux9Ll87GkXQu0kliLC_dMH4e-QOzwsKflLYwZUdr-7IzvcOg2NrLP2fY/s320/z194289107.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565526713521025490" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDlbEtSzIF-fn9h15aW9Sx4o_2_Hwd3ldig1pOmhtLEFUEH3ff-C6e4NgiUtQULQ5LBTszw79tmIaExSyZIJdRs6oEm4EXPy9zeTiV0zkRJFKzkh4eRHmZ4V64A-rXuLh_QRwJw5UYyYs/s320/268448jlh12227lo.png" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565530835271587202" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px; " /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgulOJndtLgfnVvg9PG7VclANQUO06XcLOgfHfPuGGspYKGD6vN7tNw_5_fpF05DaP39OUBUI_BbGoUmlqrokL4aMk4Tj42idEUPDyJJt11iMdWztzJnLW7I0FmX_qZXLL_8JXaB3qIPWc/s1600/b197697718.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 288px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgulOJndtLgfnVvg9PG7VclANQUO06XcLOgfHfPuGGspYKGD6vN7tNw_5_fpF05DaP39OUBUI_BbGoUmlqrokL4aMk4Tj42idEUPDyJJt11iMdWztzJnLW7I0FmX_qZXLL_8JXaB3qIPWc/s320/b197697718.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565530896969252354" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDlbEtSzIF-fn9h15aW9Sx4o_2_Hwd3ldig1pOmhtLEFUEH3ff-C6e4NgiUtQULQ5LBTszw79tmIaExSyZIJdRs6oEm4EXPy9zeTiV0zkRJFKzkh4eRHmZ4V64A-rXuLh_QRwJw5UYyYs/s1600/268448jlh12227lo.png"></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1Lq8r7uER4GCZYjr74tqANRwggxaj4D8yDXovSFCP1W9y9D2HimHWp7gaRbP6hR9OYIGDsPTNVETR0kZKKWWBdEZFW_6yY68b84wQb2pbR2CFeZkMpMX01x_VLYt8kbHner2dPaEptuw/s1600/4geqpew.jpg"><img style="display:block; 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margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG6ubjhqzyTwTfDckhFdzxI3LCayvF4LPHTK7eKV7kGmhnrC05YPJ5-RMmWDClH0CBbjBoBg2j7xYWuor2B-_5trr06o5kb_Q9D8vDV2lyG-xjResvHNpGjVXMS7emi8aOjIlanO9WfD8/s320/tumblr_lcm9ohsQ7B1qf91fdo1_250.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565531126557488146" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVYEssoJS3IU5hJt5N1erRemMUL_jEnU-pSyxlLxG8lWjexwqRQvLSFd6iF9weRY_ijRGIEVy0_1SaQP4YGA7Fo0ge7V9ddGXugKY_jhNPC4KQVu-wCVOg3f9pISly9U7Qbm_3p8XpW-I/s1600/tumblr_lddzw9GN6H1qdz9cvo1_400.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 256px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVYEssoJS3IU5hJt5N1erRemMUL_jEnU-pSyxlLxG8lWjexwqRQvLSFd6iF9weRY_ijRGIEVy0_1SaQP4YGA7Fo0ge7V9ddGXugKY_jhNPC4KQVu-wCVOg3f9pISly9U7Qbm_3p8XpW-I/s320/tumblr_lddzw9GN6H1qdz9cvo1_400.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5565531125260374050" /></a></div>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-69001690065188177072011-01-18T13:34:00.004-05:002011-01-18T22:32:19.712-05:00daily and summer goalsi have new daily goals:<br />1) drink 3+ liters of water.<br />2) take all vitamins/medicines<br />3) stay under daily calorie limit<br /><br />for this summer, i'm kinda facing a dilemma. i can either go live with my grandparents in delaware and get a job at a coffee shop, or i can stay here and get a job at a bakery somewhere (i love to bake and im pretty good at it, not to be cocky). but if i went to delaware, i wouldn't be able to re-do my room. buuut then i wouldn't get a tan, or be able to staff at camp crossroads. i have some goals i definitely want to meet though:<br /><br />-repaint room<br />-get skinny<br />-get license (i have my permit now)<br />-get a job/some income<br />-staff at camp crossroads<br /><br />i think all these options are pointing to me staying home, but that means i have to be around my parents all summer (and i won't get a tan >:[). uggh. i have no idea what i'm going to do.<br /><br />xoxo<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi61fNkE2hL6JOfrq7nEOOPCw-UbGBj-2ulSgyUM6Se9JmRBNAQqwFFO4Ms4hcMMds9tekl2thS3vX_PtLIhzQLAs1kQq8cwugUayeFqD6RN-13q-FOAl1vTeD4g9JG7jQMvEt-MhLTH9k/s1600/screen-capture3.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 311px; height: 249px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi61fNkE2hL6JOfrq7nEOOPCw-UbGBj-2ulSgyUM6Se9JmRBNAQqwFFO4Ms4hcMMds9tekl2thS3vX_PtLIhzQLAs1kQq8cwugUayeFqD6RN-13q-FOAl1vTeD4g9JG7jQMvEt-MhLTH9k/s320/screen-capture3.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5563598420119556658" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-30739612661223863602011-01-11T21:02:00.003-05:002011-01-11T21:58:41.732-05:00fake as a fucking barbie.I haven't been doing so well with the whole diet thing. weighed in at 176 this morning but i binged all day. ill easily be back up to 182 by tonight. <br /><br />all of my "friends" have stopped eating. i don't know what to do. they aren't really my friends anymore. i don't have real friends. they're all fake and it's killing me.<br /><br />i am dying for a boyfriend. i have no idea why. my hormones are out of control and i just feel like i need someone in my life who thinks im pretty and loves me. but the shitty thing is that i know that will never happen because i'm fat and unattractive. i can't even get a pity date. i'm the "grenade" in my group of really fake, hot "friends." it fucking sucks.<br /><br />im just feeling really fat and depressed. i have no motivation to get any homework done. my grades are probably falling. i have no guy friends. actually, i have no REAL friends. <br /><br />i fucking hate high school. i want to move to south carolina and live with my grandparents. or delaware with my other grandparents. just anywhere but here. i am so sick and tired of the fake douche-bag people in northern virginia.<br /><br />and nobody calls me pretty. ever. not in real life, not on facebook. i know that i'm not pretty, but i would love if you would just lie to me just fucking once just so that i can feel loved.<br /><br />i guess i'll never get that belly button piercing.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAifMYEQUlqxuNdKbghzVewu_z8iOON47tZh2sfOwjTPgLU5sn9HuZZdpGgdtYCvzs04M6l0zs46IAUcqcetxM0cMeg2uIKhSr9Hqfx6SAZCBMjkj9VFtDn_UcPmL5XzNktof95MirGiA/s1600/images-8.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 183px; height: 275px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAifMYEQUlqxuNdKbghzVewu_z8iOON47tZh2sfOwjTPgLU5sn9HuZZdpGgdtYCvzs04M6l0zs46IAUcqcetxM0cMeg2uIKhSr9Hqfx6SAZCBMjkj9VFtDn_UcPmL5XzNktof95MirGiA/s320/images-8.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5561128405753874386" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaFK2IFMqFJYEQg4EsWKokqGI28ZIRqG0H35ktnkA3RigIs06iyxnxelu2OaIlb4TPnut7DWKKuMFaNkcFk4msdDLAmt8wgo9xMyGjRoIAGpnALyj3-ohjZOGvJ6zLwDQxQtE4ZH7wNoA/s1600/Empty-Heart.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 249px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaFK2IFMqFJYEQg4EsWKokqGI28ZIRqG0H35ktnkA3RigIs06iyxnxelu2OaIlb4TPnut7DWKKuMFaNkcFk4msdDLAmt8wgo9xMyGjRoIAGpnALyj3-ohjZOGvJ6zLwDQxQtE4ZH7wNoA/s320/Empty-Heart.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5561128404669996578" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-88195196311706716042011-01-03T19:36:00.003-05:002011-01-03T19:48:25.286-05:00throwing it.scale says: 178.1<br /><br />breakfast:<br />coffee + creamer<br />eggs<br />toast + jam<br /><br />lunch:<br />french fries<br />stacy's pita chips<br /><br />snack:<br />shitton of chocolate chip oatmeal cookies<br />cranberry raspberry fuze<br /><br />dinner:<br />2 mushroom burgers + ketchup<br />bread + soup<br />milk<br />mango/strawberry protein shake<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">i. am. <i>so</i>. disgusting. </span><br /></span><br /><br />i threw my back handspring at practice today. i almost have it. i want to throw it in competition.<br /><br />2 goals:<br />be 140 by march, even if it means downright starving myself for weeks<br />throw my back handspring in competition in march<br /><br />march. that's the magic month.<br /><br />i will do this.<br />i will be beautiful.<br />or i will die trying.<br /><br /><br />xoxo<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaHoZPhz95RcIgM5gGpOKO8_tNzgXcwRz_VJ90Q3ifyUoiTQrtg4CFa3gET_xIrUWn4Cdqy5Q4Q4Qb3dU4Z5ZiQTMpr8e8OXFXdKVsvHewo2_wgwIkV8Jdxkrm0hqHRztlLD3p9nUGzgs/s1600/tumblr_lawybsZQFh1qzui0fo1_500.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 206px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaHoZPhz95RcIgM5gGpOKO8_tNzgXcwRz_VJ90Q3ifyUoiTQrtg4CFa3gET_xIrUWn4Cdqy5Q4Q4Qb3dU4Z5ZiQTMpr8e8OXFXdKVsvHewo2_wgwIkV8Jdxkrm0hqHRztlLD3p9nUGzgs/s320/tumblr_lawybsZQFh1qzui0fo1_500.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558126139430995938" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-53295436137324753582011-01-02T12:08:00.006-05:002011-01-02T20:19:47.662-05:00reliefScale says: 175.9<br /><br />I am so relieved i didn't gain that much weight. if i had come home and i had been over 180, i think i would have had another mental breakdown. note to self: next year, bring a scale. 175.9 is nothing a week of SkinnyGirlDiet can't take care of. But i'm still aiming to be 140 in march. that's my goal for now (then 110 in june :]).<br /><br />did somewhat ok on eating today. will do better tomorrow, though.<br /><br />xoxo<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpWwo4ZfdhtD5Bq0d4QFfLvb5jaydJhgVcp402JZiryI1IeTNEaoTEcnXuwsV7uXsgURH12Mr4WOWWiqIU_yNgjJ2l6gv3PsSuL7lMnLD3b3Y-OutCPyyeWmPlTqs6SQFF2ZIoDVLGggc/s1600/tumblr_ld7wmj5lOG1qct6zzo1_500.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpWwo4ZfdhtD5Bq0d4QFfLvb5jaydJhgVcp402JZiryI1IeTNEaoTEcnXuwsV7uXsgURH12Mr4WOWWiqIU_yNgjJ2l6gv3PsSuL7lMnLD3b3Y-OutCPyyeWmPlTqs6SQFF2ZIoDVLGggc/s320/tumblr_ld7wmj5lOG1qct6zzo1_500.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5557763038927083090" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNhg3k39WEeQpnXnbtWOCv6NH9kcFcscCw4i7NLPnS6tMXroGJns27VSIKuUcm-cdS6gecmy6uN6KchX1KpKNh6kZtnp3Ptqyhxh-YZHuKY-oKwz1U4saFhUaa48BIeffec2M3jLXTmr8/s1600/tumblr_lawy7e6tpr1qdawawo1_500.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 233px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNhg3k39WEeQpnXnbtWOCv6NH9kcFcscCw4i7NLPnS6tMXroGJns27VSIKuUcm-cdS6gecmy6uN6KchX1KpKNh6kZtnp3Ptqyhxh-YZHuKY-oKwz1U4saFhUaa48BIeffec2M3jLXTmr8/s320/tumblr_lawy7e6tpr1qdawawo1_500.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5557763040437416882" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-82035140507224373062010-12-30T13:50:00.003-05:002010-12-30T14:27:43.829-05:00sweet sixteenso, i haven't been doing very well here with all the food (1000-1500 cals/day meals) but i've been watching myself and i don't feel myself getting any bigger. i wish there was a scale here. <br /><br />i've decided that i'm going to put myself on track to be 120-110 by june, when school lets out. i really want a bellybutton piercing and i've been looking into getting one, but my mother is dead-set against it. i'm going to see if she'll let me get one for my sweet 16 though. it's a gamble. <br /><br />so by march (my birthday) i want to be 140, because then my BMI will finally be "normal" (it's been in the "obese" range my entire life). assuming that i'm still 175, that means i have to loose 0.4 lbs/day to make it. 0.4 lbs=1,400 cals, and my BMR is 1600, so that's basically like 200 cals/day. i think i might just follow the skinny girl diet because i had some good results with that. i just have to remember to keep drinking water so that i'm not fooled by just loosing water weight.<br /><br />lets see...<br /><br />egg whites (3) (51 cals)<br />toasted bread (40 cals)<br /><br />lunch, nothing<br /><br />after school snack:<br />green tea smoothie (85 cals)<br />(green tea, blueberries, lemon)<br /><br />dinner:<br />romaine salad (10 cals)<br />soybeans (? cals)<br /><br />total: ~186 cals<br /><br />i got a single-cup blender for christmas for making smoothies. i'm definitely going to start having breakfast smoothies more. i need to find a way to incorporate caffeine into them, though. normally i drink coffee in the mornings but i probably wouldn't if i were to have a smoothie. my problem is i want to find a way to incorporate caffeine and protein into a breakfast shake. i have vanilla flavored whey protein that i often have after cheer practice, but i feel like combining vanilla whey protein with green tea (caffeine) would taste a little weird for a breakfast shake. plus i love eating toast & egg whites in the morning, but the combined calories between those and coffee are just too much.<br /><br />do you guys have any good smoothie ideas? any favorites? :]<br /><br />xoxo<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCmsqo0EtTS2-BGrWjZlk_I7UWfKU5dqq2CFpFRaa53U9asCz3l8SPb-uBX-LXwW50UnpmLFoltxk5Hf-g-Um89tixsyRuzq_tIrxKSQuyZTmfq_QAC8AszkQimJ9kBjixAA8cAVOov5o/s1600/b187313569.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 256px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCmsqo0EtTS2-BGrWjZlk_I7UWfKU5dqq2CFpFRaa53U9asCz3l8SPb-uBX-LXwW50UnpmLFoltxk5Hf-g-Um89tixsyRuzq_tIrxKSQuyZTmfq_QAC8AszkQimJ9kBjixAA8cAVOov5o/s320/b187313569.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5556559155557390642" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSAqexa8qjDXzs34H9IhdXH7MTpF7KO5ZuWPLOCWaQ2TiuGFMJskP-hvLqx0rCh_I2b-gIcZrQwP_-6qc9XonzFCQ0s7MRJuulfzsT1tc_VarHxB4gD_ERjekcjXMBcKqZaby-6-kPbkA/s1600/z175626265.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSAqexa8qjDXzs34H9IhdXH7MTpF7KO5ZuWPLOCWaQ2TiuGFMJskP-hvLqx0rCh_I2b-gIcZrQwP_-6qc9XonzFCQ0s7MRJuulfzsT1tc_VarHxB4gD_ERjekcjXMBcKqZaby-6-kPbkA/s320/z175626265.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5556559144645925186" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqWqIIrZXdy74OrHnPPAtuS-mLNCwctxyJhBuXWiJi2c2NzzeJ6pVbnGMx0rUnno5bGqFvvDGbrdK67GdqwyEgBoTGd5mNh8_qCYYnU5mEtqKatDyPflRszk18OYW-FoUbz5qV_OpXuWI/s1600/z215179332.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqWqIIrZXdy74OrHnPPAtuS-mLNCwctxyJhBuXWiJi2c2NzzeJ6pVbnGMx0rUnno5bGqFvvDGbrdK67GdqwyEgBoTGd5mNh8_qCYYnU5mEtqKatDyPflRszk18OYW-FoUbz5qV_OpXuWI/s320/z215179332.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5556559140685361058" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJWHGoM2-kubKkHsyISs-MNOFxeTEQ4qocniigm_QEhCSunjCJ-CibQDwGjSRR_w7OtMmqMs8cWjK7eS_k-4KOXBXd1ww2ioG-EODPXaOYUfC4Lanep4FqX1zggWbJUvUkCev4QOVec5w/s1600/z215839575.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJWHGoM2-kubKkHsyISs-MNOFxeTEQ4qocniigm_QEhCSunjCJ-CibQDwGjSRR_w7OtMmqMs8cWjK7eS_k-4KOXBXd1ww2ioG-EODPXaOYUfC4Lanep4FqX1zggWbJUvUkCev4QOVec5w/s320/z215839575.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5556559138770532146" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-87451105818005525052010-12-23T14:44:00.003-05:002010-12-23T19:12:18.607-05:00day 2scale says: ???<br /><br />breakfast:<br />nothing<br /><br />lunch:<br />pear (45 cals)<br />2 slices veggie pizza (?? cals)<br />diet snapple (0 cals)<br /><br />junk food:<br />chocolate covered pretzels (3) (375 cals)<br />sugar cookies (3) (120 cals)<br />pound cake (100 cals)<br />chocolate truffle (105 cals)<br /><br />exercise (-150 cals)<br /><br />total so far: 595 cals<br /><br />couldn't resist the pound cake, or the chocolate covered pretzels. i feel like such a fat ass (which i am). but i did work out and burned off a little. the machines in the gym here at the hotel are amazing, and i'm pretty sure if i restrict tomorrow i can burn it all off :]<br /><br />i feel like such an awful sister. I totally forgot to get a gift for my sister. i'm going to make her a coupon book with little things like "1 free pass to watch a baby show when i want to watch normal television" (i hate baby shows) and "1 free pass to squish a spider" (she's f-ing terrified of them) or "1 free baking pass" for when she needs something baked for school the next day, and i'll bake it for her. i feel like that's not enough though. i want to to get her a hallmark card, but i have no idea where there is a hallmark in myrtle. grrrr. plus i left all my money at home so my mom will have to buy the card for me (uggh). i feel so shallow.nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-35919961836046529032010-12-22T22:32:00.004-05:002010-12-23T00:09:08.782-05:00holiday, day 1so we arrived in myrtle beach today. i definitely binged on all the food my grandparents bought, but i've decided that i'm NOT going to let myself go and gain weight this week. I did that last year and gained about 10 pounds, and not to mention that i became severely depressed soon after. <br /><br />so i made myself a list of reasons why i will not eat the fatty, sugary foods that we have down here:<br /><br />1) Nicky lost weight, so the next time I see him, I want to be beautifully thin as well and awe him.<br />2) I want to be thin so that I can feel small in comparison to Nate, who is totally ripped (and probably won't go out with a fat girl anyway)<br />3) I want to continue to make my goals so that I will be my perfect weight when summer comes<br />4) I need to make my goal of 100 lbs so that i can get my BELLY BUTTON PIERCED. (before summer, yes? :])<br />5) i want to be thinner than my best friend (who just happens to dance ballet)<br />6) i want to be thinner than my sister (who does crew)<br />7) I want to lose 70 lbs by summer and see the looks on people's faces who haven't seen me in a long time and still remember me as "that heavy girl"<br />8) i never want my thighs to touch. ever. again.<br /><br />btw, there's no scale in the condo. does anyone have another method of adequately weighing yourself without one?<br /><br />xoxo<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA5cG0d7pnTiHp20DtO5vuX3ykIiEjzx89QikGE8YJ8vHzELO1jaVkcoqDeICJLrHJD1ZdOamHwO1tsKwC1X3v-ukoYsiQuCnMPxaThIlytemn2v13M2Zet8mIbJMDXnjUPjm2xjqgYAU/s1600/images.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 233px; height: 192px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA5cG0d7pnTiHp20DtO5vuX3ykIiEjzx89QikGE8YJ8vHzELO1jaVkcoqDeICJLrHJD1ZdOamHwO1tsKwC1X3v-ukoYsiQuCnMPxaThIlytemn2v13M2Zet8mIbJMDXnjUPjm2xjqgYAU/s320/images.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553740212497843106" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-81459671978298890222010-12-22T00:30:00.006-05:002010-12-22T00:39:05.922-05:00holiday is imminentscale says: 171.4 (-2.9 lbs)<br /><br />sorry i haven't been blogging lately. if you don't see a blog update from me in a while, check my stats box/ticker. i'll keep updating my weight :]<br /><br />really busy with school and holiday. been trying to stick to the skinny girl diet, weight went back down to 171.4 :] i've calculated that to be the weight i want to be over the summer i have to loose .5 lbs/day. easy enough with a 500 cal diet. i'm just really worried about not getting my body the right nutrients. i want to stay pretty and healthy, and i do NOT want loose skin when i loose my 70 lbs :] taking off weight is pretty easy for me if i restrict, but i don't really see a difference because i'm loosing muscle mass, not fat. and loosing muscle is going to make cheer a lot harder as well. oh well. we'll see.<br /><br />leaving for myrtle beach tomorrow. haven't packed yet. scared to death i'm going to gain weight. <br /><br />i have to be 169.9 by the 27th<3<br /><br />xoxo<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2N40x6IRFBdBHBWNJuLmlVncdnzguvaGcHSCGlGIl17f8Qd6Q74ByeT7McLVxO9ML3Qjy4z8rrtGI9QCQ6V86mtHfLVx-J45X6SC7ax0B3mesAowmsNliWCPXIqOhumZ13V9HuRTi24Q/s1600/screen-capture-1.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2N40x6IRFBdBHBWNJuLmlVncdnzguvaGcHSCGlGIl17f8Qd6Q74ByeT7McLVxO9ML3Qjy4z8rrtGI9QCQ6V86mtHfLVx-J45X6SC7ax0B3mesAowmsNliWCPXIqOhumZ13V9HuRTi24Q/s320/screen-capture-1.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553376001198261730" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-38384130406227429692010-12-12T17:57:00.002-05:002010-12-12T18:05:02.161-05:00failure<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Skinny Girl Diet<br />day 7</span></span><br /><br />scale says 174.3 <span style="font-weight:bold;">(+2.0 lbs)</span><br /><br />breakfast:<br />nothing (0 cals)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">TOTAL: 0 cals</span><br /><br />lunch/holiday party:<br />macaroni<br />chips/gauc<br />hershy kiss/pretzel/m&m<br />sprite<br />orange crush<br />apple cider<br />fudge flies<br />chocolate straw<br />carrots/helluva good dip<br />roll<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">TOTAL: fghjgbyuki cals</span><br /><br />dinner:<br />nothing (0 cals)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">TOTAL: 0 cals</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">DAY TOTAL: too many cals (limit 650)</span><br /><br />ate too much at the holiday party, don't really want to tally it up. gained two pounds from yesterday's binge, probably gained more today. god i hate myself so much. <br /><br />now i have to go do a shitload of homework for school tomorrow. one more week till holiday.<br /><br />i want a boyfriend so badly.<br /><br />xoxo<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmzDGIca_qnJ0K-16r68RJdO6q1f1VBcIDkAjgK-IwTE57nJmtmgc35ezto4WEXvfHjOKzFBScChhJyASU1_1oeI-siae9nTY3BZRE7Zh3I1iDJDMY78VBqAVzRvEGcca43E0Ll2y3Y7Q/s1600/tumblr_ld8db9EmYY1qdnijso1_500.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmzDGIca_qnJ0K-16r68RJdO6q1f1VBcIDkAjgK-IwTE57nJmtmgc35ezto4WEXvfHjOKzFBScChhJyASU1_1oeI-siae9nTY3BZRE7Zh3I1iDJDMY78VBqAVzRvEGcca43E0Ll2y3Y7Q/s320/tumblr_ld8db9EmYY1qdnijso1_500.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5549935648957172002" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-50305945876234026682010-12-11T12:24:00.007-05:002010-12-12T00:18:14.501-05:00success<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Skinny Girl Diet<br />day 6</span></span><br /><br />scale says 172.3 <span style="font-weight:bold;">(-2.1 lbs)</span><br /><br />breakfast:<br />vitamin water (87 cals)<br />vitamin water zero (0 cals)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">TOTAL: 87 cals</span><br /><br />lunch:<br />chipotle burrito (755 cals)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">TOTAL: 755 cals</span><br /><br />snack:<br />pretzel/hershey kiss/m&m (1) (35 cals)<br />hershy kiss (2) (44 cals)<br />pretzel/m&m (10) (100 cals)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">TOTAL: 179 cals</span><br /><br />dinner:<br />diet cheerwine (0 cals)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">TOTAL: 0 cals</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">DAY TOTAL: 1021 cals (limit 650)</span><br /><br />yeah, today was a big binge day. i was only planning to eat 1/2 of the chipotle burrito (which would only be ~377 cals) but then i went into binge mode and couldn't stop eating. i literally went into a food coma afterwords and could do nothing but lie on the couch my stomach hurt so much. i started thinking about purging and how badly i wanted to purge at that moment, but my entire family was in the house and would surely hear. i also was not planning on snacking so much when i made more pretzel/hershy kiss/m&m things for a holiday party i have tomorrow. speaking of the holiday party, i have no idea what i'm going to do. there's going to be junk food everywhere and we're eating lunch there. i'll probably have to look up calories on my phone. uggh. <br /><br />this morning before my binge my mom walked into the kitchen and told me that i looked skinnier. i'm really upset because even though i have lost a little over 10lbs i still can't see a change and SHE thinks i'm getting smaller, which means she's going to start asking about my eating habits more.<br /><br />i'm frightened of stepping on the scale tomorrow. im trying to enjoy the days where i lose a pound per day before my weightless shrinks to the fractions of a pound, and if today's binge makes me gain weight i'm going to be so upset.<br /><br />xoxo<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaI_5pZpnGX0IO7ZpQ_DFKugX2MVHhtRA3IUdHgY0ihUf46q_tuA6v-Gt5ZVw8U6kFTC_EGAz3EUPikWu99rh-GNx2P9qqEdSAb75g4T4e5TDvtQgFlYF2jPOs7OK3stgj9o0Y10qDYVo/s1600/tumblr_ldank3c5fm1qf3bxuo1_500.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaI_5pZpnGX0IO7ZpQ_DFKugX2MVHhtRA3IUdHgY0ihUf46q_tuA6v-Gt5ZVw8U6kFTC_EGAz3EUPikWu99rh-GNx2P9qqEdSAb75g4T4e5TDvtQgFlYF2jPOs7OK3stgj9o0Y10qDYVo/s320/tumblr_ldank3c5fm1qf3bxuo1_500.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5549646917150964098" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-64652606786251006762010-12-10T18:25:00.003-05:002010-12-10T20:48:27.319-05:00awkward eating<span style="font-weight:bold;">Skinny Girl Diet<br />day 5</span><br /><br />scale says 174.4 (-1.1 lbs)<br /><br />breakfast:<br />coffee+creamer (120 cals)<br />TOTAL: 120 cals<br /><br />lunch: nothing<br />TOTAL: 0 cals<br /><br />snack:<br />chocolate chip cookie (85 cals)<br />hershey kisses (4) (92 cals)<br />provolone cheese (1 slice) (90 cals)<br />TOTAL: 267 cals<br /><br />dinner: <br />diet cheerwine (0 cals)<br />pickle (0 cals)<br />TOTAL: 0 cals<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">DAY TOTAL: 387 cals (limit 450)</span><br /><br />it's incredible how munchies can add up so fast. i was very excited to have a good dinner tonight because i thought i hadn't really eaten anything else during the day, but it turns out i only had 63 calories to spare so i just skipped. that sucks. on a positive note i can't believe i lost 1.1 lbs since yesterday! it seems too true to believe, and i know it wasn't just water weight. the skinny girl diet really seems to be working, especially when my body was used to 1600-2000 calorie diet (yuck). have you guys tried SGD? how much did you loose?<br /><br />xoxo<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheQkzT5ok3PTFC4mc1syT8onlThPcu1vYzA5Z4CnjHf9_8Q3ImEfWmBtS_VZ18dxRCBB-6ElNVqwDKgDEhNN3AKtqvIAy6rnpKi0dErLjcX34WiLdnf9M4rPqtV8hMROY8ggmJSLxFQt8/s1600/tumblr_ld8ef0LSpL1qbus0fo1_500.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 220px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheQkzT5ok3PTFC4mc1syT8onlThPcu1vYzA5Z4CnjHf9_8Q3ImEfWmBtS_VZ18dxRCBB-6ElNVqwDKgDEhNN3AKtqvIAy6rnpKi0dErLjcX34WiLdnf9M4rPqtV8hMROY8ggmJSLxFQt8/s320/tumblr_ld8ef0LSpL1qbus0fo1_500.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5549235463875883058" /></a>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-72295426125245100732010-12-09T16:18:00.013-05:002010-12-11T12:18:16.003-05:00holidays<span style="font-weight:bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Skinny Girl Diet<br />day 4</span></span><br /><br />scale says 175.5 <span style="font-weight:bold;"> (-0.3 lbs)</span><br /><br />breakfast:<br />coffee+creamer (120 cals)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">TOTAL: 120 cals</span><br /><br />lunch: nothing<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">TOTAL: 0 cals</span><br /><br />snack:<br />pickle (0 cals)<br />pretzel/hershykiss/m&m (6) (200 cals)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">TOTAL: 175 cals</span><br /><br />dinner:<br />2/3 cup scalloped potatoes (100cal)<br />tofu chicken strips (2) (73 cals)<br />1/2 green beans (15cals)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">TOTAL: 223 cals</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">DAY TOTAL: 553 cals (limit 500)<br /></span><br /> so-so day. was doing amazing until i made those awesome pretzel/hershykiss/m&m things. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRDlFz3Zrr1VHvGuSPda3pqnEPvrAk2XFdu6oKkLwpfBRZcAgxV5fG9pjXfgClQpVhuIo0qNFHdELsf6bPL7Q7lEK7m84jcKY-9cu6cekRE8gAWka3S90s8ywLjYTaKiHjGanzvmBY9O0/s1600/holiday-pretzel-treats-christmas-recipe-photo-260-FF0105ALMFA02.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRDlFz3Zrr1VHvGuSPda3pqnEPvrAk2XFdu6oKkLwpfBRZcAgxV5fG9pjXfgClQpVhuIo0qNFHdELsf6bPL7Q7lEK7m84jcKY-9cu6cekRE8gAWka3S90s8ywLjYTaKiHjGanzvmBY9O0/s200/holiday-pretzel-treats-christmas-recipe-photo-260-FF0105ALMFA02.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548857886077114626" /></a><br /><br />...aaaaand then i ate five of them. ech. i'm just really worried about holiday that's coming up. we're going to the beach to be with my dad's side of the family and they always have junk food everywhere all the time. i'm talking krispy kreme doughnuts, cookies, chocolate covered nuts, eggnog, sugared pecans, white chocolate pecans. it's bad. i gained so much weight last time that i practically became suicidal (no joke). i'm going to have to learn how to cope, restrict, and exercise it all off (the hotel has a gym).<br />it's terrible because i'm going to be watched by everyone about what i eat, especially by my mother. if they offer me food and i don't eat it it's kind of an insult. so i have no idea what im going to do.nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-73462286411305253932010-12-08T16:23:00.008-05:002010-12-09T20:26:13.763-05:00skinny girl dieti woke up today and was like "oh, ill eat something." the stuffing of my face continued until i got home. uggh.<br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><b>Skinny Girl Diet </b></span><br />(starting on day 3=wednesday)<br /><br />breakfast:<br />1 egg + butter (~110 cals)<br />1/2 glass OJ (50 cals)<br />coffee + creamer (~120 cals)<div><b>TOTAL: 280 cals</b></div><div><div><br /></div><div>Lunch:</div><div>french fries (128 cals)</div><div>catchup (25 cals)</div><div><b>TOTAL: 153 cals</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Snack:</div><div>3/4 cup white rice (153 cals)</div><div><b>TOTAL: 153 cals</b></div><div><br /></div><div><b>DAY TOTAL: 586 cals (limit 400)</b></div><div><br /></div><div>i wasn't making the smartest decisions today. forgot to weigh myself this morning but will definitely remember to tomorrow. i'm going to go walk off 186 cals on my treadmill and hope to god we don't have a sit-down dinner so that i can flush my food down the toilet.</div><div><br /></div>xoxo<br />p.s. this pic again because i love it so much and this is exactly what i want to look like :]]]<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx77NTzYhhv5dI5LQpy4r9UFM9svOxqPKGl_uA2tGteX0Mi3Nfs6Lrp6JoJLdYherfgrK2ukWyDVb2PNF3brghvb9dc2EpgU4ef1LJXJ9crYcoP7XKh6gXZSqXZXjVGcOH7qjxuCnqzQw/s1600/surprise-belly-button-piercing-story.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx77NTzYhhv5dI5LQpy4r9UFM9svOxqPKGl_uA2tGteX0Mi3Nfs6Lrp6JoJLdYherfgrK2ukWyDVb2PNF3brghvb9dc2EpgU4ef1LJXJ9crYcoP7XKh6gXZSqXZXjVGcOH7qjxuCnqzQw/s320/surprise-belly-button-piercing-story.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548432705759416770" /></a></div>nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8911454466533531452.post-59430988119086321372010-12-07T20:44:00.002-05:002010-12-07T21:18:52.890-05:00hello world, i'm backlong story short: got sick, lost weight, became determined to loose some more.<br /><br />cw: 175.8<br /><br />meal plan for this week:<br />Breakfast-<br />"diet" toast (40 cals) + 1tbsp or 1/2 tbsp Nutella (100/50 cals)<br />1/2 glass orange juice (50 cals)<br />TOTAL: 190<br /><br />Lunch:<br />Grilled cheese (2 slices bread = 80 cals, slice cheese = 45 cals, total = 125 cals)<br />Romaine salad (10 cals)<br />hard boiled egg (just whites, 17 cals)<br />TOTAL: 152<br /><br />Dinner = 1/3 of whatever my family is eating (<500 cals)<br /><br />BMR= 1600cals/day<br /><br />just want to loose some of this weight.<br />i've got a crush on this one guy who i haven't seen since last year. had a couple classes together, flirted hard, but this year we have NO classes together and i never see him in the hallways or anything. i saw him after school in my chemistry room and we totally hit it off again so i deff want to see more of him. buuuuuut then there is this guy who i met over holiday and he's cute and really tall and has a BRITISH ACCENT (ohmygodiknow) and he is like totally in love with me, but he's an eighth grader (yeah i know. me = sophomore). its a little weird, but i find myself crushing on him at the same time. he invited me ice skating. i still have no idea what to do. eerk. <br /><br />xoxo<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBZSTkp9XGZOVg658GQE6b23LYefUjFxE1WV1D314cNxMmIyF3g0QosqM0HvSSi0Aebx5WITvLI3fJ5-whCmQxotx3bSbq1PtlCFE51uca1dqLrvnWy4FFST2HB22aBbhvOzoNLCWry2k/s1600/surprise-belly-button-piercing-story.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBZSTkp9XGZOVg658GQE6b23LYefUjFxE1WV1D314cNxMmIyF3g0QosqM0HvSSi0Aebx5WITvLI3fJ5-whCmQxotx3bSbq1PtlCFE51uca1dqLrvnWy4FFST2HB22aBbhvOzoNLCWry2k/s320/surprise-belly-button-piercing-story.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5548130088910200866" /></a><br />^^ i'm getting one when i hit 100lbs<3<br /><br /><!-- Widget Cow : Beginning of Code --><br /><div class="bfcounter" style="text-align:right;"><a href="http://cumberlandlondon.com"><img src="http://best-free-counter.com/counters/00482b9bed15a2h18113l30fcb590ffebddd.jpg" border="0" alt="Cumberland hotel" /></a></div><br /><!-- Widget Cow : End of Code -->nispmchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14083018655331602107noreply@blogger.com0