unhappy

so apparently i gained like 3 pounds over the three days surrounding the concert. i normally officially weigh myself in the morning right after going to the bathroom, but lately i've been seeing so much difference between my weight in the morning and my weight at night. i know its food, water weight, whatever, but i still hate seeing that number on the scale. it tears me down.

i'm beginning to be unhappy again. my friends are leaving me, i guess i didn't do such a great job choosing them in the first place. i hate highschool, and it really started hitting a nerve this past week and i am so ready just to run away, somewhere else than virginia. i hate virginia. it's ugly and disgusting, and the people here are ugly and disgusting. never come here.

at this point in time all i want is to reach the 160's, and to sleep more.

I have pictures of myself that i was going to post, but then i had to remind myself that a grand total of about 2 people read this. and i worry that people surfing ana blogs would see them and be repulsed and leave.

"that fat girl? she cant have an eating disorder. she's like, obese. ha ha ha. maybe she binge eats! ewwww!"

welcome to the voices in my head.