i hate it.

i am so, so sorry. the whole fasting thing just crashed and burned, and im fatter than ever. i dont even want to go to florida for spring break anymore. I WANT TO BE SKINNY. not fat and gross!! i just can not seem to loose weight! even when i eat a normal 1200 cals a day, walk around a ton and go to softball practice where i literally am running my ass off. I HATE IT. and im getting sick and tired of it too. i just want to loose some fucking weight people. i want to be happy. dont i have the right to be happy? i want to get a boyfriend and have him love my body. i want to wear a bikini and not have to worry about people being disgusted with my cellulite. ITS NOT FAIR. i have no control. i have no say in anything. at night i sit and cry and swear to myself that im not going to eat anything the next day, and then i wake up and stuff my face. i hate it i hate it i hate it.