hey everyone who still checks this blog(:
i just wanted to let yall know that i'm still alive. i'm happy to say that my disordered eating and warped thoughts have substantially decreased, to the point where i feel like a normal member of society.
right now i'm just trying to be healthy; lots of water, fruits and veggies, carbs protiens and fats in the right amount. i'm not focusing on how much i weigh, but instead i'm measuring and trying to reduce my body fat percentage. i do cardio and weightlifting whenever i can fit into my schedule.
it wouldnt be fair to say that i love myself now; i do have my low days. i'm trying to be happy with myself before i seek happiness in others. if i hated myself this process wouldnt be possible: living a healthy lifestyle is hard for me. its much easier to fall back into being lazy and eating shit. putting myself down wouldnt make this process any easier. instead i remind myself that i'm worth it, and that i deserve to be happy and look as beautiful and healthy as i feel.
reading my past blog posts tears open a still healing part of me. but i'm leaving them up, to let people know that you can change your life and way of thinking if you are so unhappy with the way your life is. feed your body beautiful natural food to be beautiful; i hurts me to see others suffering just as i've suffered, miserable, hungry and in so much pain both physically and mentally.
i love you all, no matter your size. and you deserve better than the misery this mental state causes. you can learn to be happy and beautiful, just as i have.